Word to the Wise: Lesson Reminder for Everyone

[Red_Barn]

[QUOTE=jenm;8101176]
Granted, we only have one side of the story, but the bottom line is if the PO did indeed tell the girl the pony was hers . . [/QUOTE]
Yes, IF.

According to the OP she said this, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.

We’ve already seen that the OP made a great many unwarranted assumptions about the PO’s obviously noncommittal emails, so I don’t see any particularly good reason to believe this assertion either. (Which isn’t to say that the OP is lying necessarily, just that she’s seeing the situation in a very skewed, entitled and unrealistic way.)

I have no idea who the PO is, but I find it very hard to believe that any experienced horsewoman would tell a strange child that a family pony was hers to keep when she didn’t know the child’s parents, had no references in hand, and hadn’t even made a farm visit. That whole scenario just sounds completely implausible to me . . . doesn’t it to you?

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

[QUOTE=Bristol Bay;8101200]
Will you people please stop giving the PO kudos for not responding to the OP? This thread would be so much more delicious if she did. ;)[/QUOTE]

Part of me longs for this and the other part of me is afraid I’ll blow my diet on the king-size tub of popcorn, M&Ms, and fountain drink I’d need to get through the next 14 pages.

[Coanteen]

[QUOTE=Impractical Horsewoman;8101216]
Part of me longs for this and the other part of me is afraid I’ll blow my diet on the king-size tub of popcorn, M&Ms, and fountain drink I’d need to get through the next 14 pages.[/QUOTE]

I can’t open a box of wine tonight, I’m on call! PO, if you have to wade in, please wait until tomorrow evening!

[danceronice]

[QUOTE=Bristol Bay;8101200]
Will you people please stop giving the PO kudos for not responding to the OP? This thread would be so much more delicious if she did. ;)[/QUOTE]

Yeah, and also call me cynical (possibly because of how often the phrase is used by politicians) “not dignifying with a response” usually means I assume the speaker doesn’t have a defense/doesn’t have a defense that makes them look good.

And jenm’s right. I do get a “I’m not sure about this” vibe from the PO’s texts/PMs. Which meant when OP said “I’m renting a trailer, blah blah” if the PO was not 100% sure they should have said “Hang on a minute.” The lesson here is don’t pussyfoot (as horse people have a weird tendency to do), treat it as the property transaction it is and spell things out. This isn’t 1850 so ‘being raised to always be polite’ is not a legitimate defense for letting someone spend a bunch of money operating on the assumption it’s a done deal. (And the whole “the son who outgrew the pony might have changed his mind” isn’t a defense. Then he gets to defend his decision and observe the consequences honestly, not have his mom make up an excuse.) The OP made assumptions, the PO let things get way too far out of hand.

[TheJenners]

[QUOTE=Coanteen;8101229]
I can’t open a box of wine tonight, I’m on call! PO, if you have to wade in, please wait until tomorrow evening![/QUOTE]

Pssh no way! Sunday nights tend to be boring, and if this thing blows, I just need to know if I need to bring my charger cord to work to read on my phone!!!

[ben4me]

People! Why r so many of u assuming what the OP says is true or that it even happened. Just go on the POs FB page and I think u will change ur mind.

[Manahmanah]

Meep

[eastendjumper]

[QUOTE=Manahmanah;8101278]
I think I’m the only one who hasn’t figured out who PO is. Someone throw me a bone via PM![/QUOTE]

(me too please)

[JustTheTicket]

[QUOTE=Manahmanah;8101278]
I think I’m the only one who hasn’t figured out who PO is. Someone throw me a bone via PM![/QUOTE]

I don’t know either and I did do the member search. I want to knowwww!

[Calamber]

[QUOTE=GoForAGallop;8098170]
So, what she did was shitty.

But at the risk of sounding like an a-hole…what if you had driven seven hours, with three children, made hubby take the days off work, rented the trailer, etc…and the pony just hadn’t been a good fit?

Maybe, for such a sensitive issue (a child-safe pony, vs a pro picking up a prospect), it would be better to stick within a more reasonable driving distance so that it isn’t such a huge deal if something goes wrong?[/QUOTE]

Except that is not what happened so what does this have to do with this situation?

[Pembroke]

I kinda want to know about the PO, too!

Because right now, I DO feel sorry for the OP. Especially to be stringed along like that, and if the PO really said that the pony would be theirs to the kids… That’s just cruel.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=Pembroke;8101342]
I kinda want to know about the PO, too!

Because right now, I DO feel sorry for the OP. Especially to be stringed along like that, and if the PO really said that the pony would be theirs to the kids… That’s just cruel.[/QUOTE]

With everything else the OP misheard/misread/misunderstood even under her OWN version of events… does it REALLY seem likely that PO literally said “this will be your pony?” Or does it seem far, far more likely that she said something else and the OP in her enthusiasm misheard/misunderstood.

[pdq]

Manahmanah - The pony owner is a breeder of stunningly beautiful dressage and eventing horses with spectacular bloodlines. Her place is gorgeous, her foals go through the inspections, and she shows and clinics. All high dollar stuff. This lady is no slouch, is a very skilled rider, and is dedicated to both her sport and her breeding.

Now that I know who she is, I can honestly say…I think the OP has a selective memory and only remembers what she wants to remember. And I think that memory is VERY faulty. I also think that the saddle the owner had for the pony was probably an expensive saddle (based upon the type and scope of riding the owner does) that had been professionally fitted to the pony (which appears from the two photos I saw to be a large pony BTW) for the express purpose of creating the most fluid and comfortable stride. And it may well have been a high caliber, expensive saddle. I suspect it was now that I’ve seen the owners photos and background.

Of course it was “4x larger” than the OP would have us think - this is a large pony saddle, and the OP has a 6 year old (special needs), a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The saddle fit the pony as it should, and I’m pretty sure by that point the owner was realizing that this OP was both clueless and ignorant and was not going to buy tack to fit the pony, but rather to fit the kid only. It doesn’t matter if someone claims to plan on having a professional saddle fitter out. Fact is - it is only that - a claim. Nothing to say it would ever come to pass. And that apparently worried the owner.

None of us - except the two parties in this transaction - were privy to what went on in the final moments when the OP finally realized the pony wasn’t going with her without the tack. The OP skipped over those details except to tell us the owner felt (rightly, I’m pretty sure by then) that the OP wasn’t going to be able to take care of the pony the way it was currently being taken care of, and stood her ground in refusing to let the pony go. Even if she only wanted $1K for a specially fitted expensive saddle that may have cost 3-4X that amount (again based upon the level of riding and the fact that this was a successful show pony), I think in the end it still would have washed out the same: The pony wasn’t leaving. The OP’s family wasn’t right for the pony, and the owner had too many serious misgivings regarding the pony’s future under the OP’s care.

And all this hearsay about the owner telling the kids the pony was already theirs - I think the OP heard only what she imagined she heard. There is too much conflicting information from the factual texts and what the OP was declaring for it to be otherwise.

I no longer - as I did before - have ANY sympathy for the OP. She needs to hire a trainer to find a pony for her kid(s) and spend some cash to get it.

The pony owner DID dodge a bullet.

[vxf111]

The way the OP tells it, the PO (a grown adult) turned to a pre-school age child and said “this is your pony, she will be leaving with you today.” Let’s take a step back… why would an adult ever say such a thing directly to a kid like that. It’s too bizarre. Why the bit about taking her. Saying that to the kid? I mean, it’s weird.

I think it’s a lot, lot more likely that OP’s daughter was getting excited and going on on about “this is my new pony” during the trial riding and the PO just sort of nodded and went along with it because, had the situation worked out, she would have let them take the pony. At that point she was still in ‘assess and let’s see’ mode.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=pdq;8101354]
Manahmanah - The pony owner is a breeder of stunningly beautiful dressage and eventing horses with spectacular bloodlines. Her place is gorgeous, her foals go through the inspections, and she shows and clinics. All high dollar stuff. This lady is no slouch, is a very skilled rider, and is dedicated to both her sport and her breeding.

Now that I know who she is, I can honestly say…I think the OP has a selective memory and only remembers what she wants to remember. And I think that memory is VERY faulty. I also think that the saddle the owner had for the pony was probably an expensive saddle (based upon the type and scope of ridingthe owner does) that had been professionally fitted to the pony (which appears to be a large pony BTW) for the express purpose of creating the most fluid and comfortable stride. And it may well have been a high caliber, expensive saddle. I suspect it was now that I’ve seen the owners photos and background.

Of course it was “4x larger” than the OP would have us think - this is a large pony saddle, and the OP has a 6 year old (special needs), a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The saddle fit the pony as it should, and I’m pretty sure by that point the owner was realizing that this OP was both clueless and ignorant and was not going to buy tack to fit the pony, but rather to fit the kid only. It doesn’t matter if someone claims to plan on having a professional saddle fitter out. Fact is - it is only that - claiming. Nothing to say it would ever come to pass.

None of us have been privy to what went on in the final moments when the OP finally realized the pony wasn’t going with her without her tack. The OP skipped over those details. But we can surmise the owner was pretty sure… by then… that the OP wasn’t going to be able to take care of the pony the way it was currently being taken care of in her own stable, and stood her ground in refusing to let the pony go. Even if she only wanted $1K for a specially fitted expensive saddle that may have cost 3-4X that amount, I think in the end it still would have washed out the same: The pony wasn’t leaving, the OP’s family wasn’t right for the pony, and the owner had serious misgivings that the pony would be well cared for.

And all this hearsay about the owner telling the kids the pony was already theirs - I think the OP heard only what she imagined she heard. There is too much conflicting information from the factual texts and what the OP was declaring for it to be otherwise.

I no longer - as I did before - have ANY sympathy for the OP. She needs to hire a trainer to find a pony for her kid(s) and spend some cash to get it.

The pony owner DID dodge a bullet.[/QUOTE]

x100

And no good deed goes unpunished. The PO was willing to free lease a LOVELY, seemingly bombproof, talented pony to a total stranger. Instead she unleashed this world of crazy drama.

[Gainer]

You only need to read some of the OP’s other threads to get that she’s at best a novice, appears to have only owned (1) horse a very short while, and might not even have a very knowledgeable BM to back her up. Perhaps the PO didn’t realize that until she met her.

I can understand why she may have changed her mind after meeting the family. I think she was doing what she felt was right for the pony (which she should!) All we’ve seen are some messages printed out. There are only two people who know what the actual conversations were. I agree with others that the OP likely heard what she wanted to hear, not what was actually said.

Frankly, I think the PO has a lot of class for not adding drama to this thread.

[pdq]

Also to add - what really super pissed me off was in one of the OP’s post her assertion that the pony owner should have told her son (in essence) “Suck it up, kid, and let someone else have your pony. You need to share.”

I have kids (all grown now), and I’ve had very precious ponies for them that were worth their weight in gold. Most stayed with me after being outgrown, and some were loaned out (one was a solid small pony foxhunter that had EVERYONE wanting to borrow him for their precious tots :)) until their lease rider outgrew, and then the ponies came back to be retired. Two were sold outright. But I’d be damned if I offered one for a giveaway and someone came along that I didn’t know but upon meeting them deemed them or their situation to be unsuitable, and yet they EXPECTED me to hand over my property because they drove all the way out with a trailer to collect said pony. And if my kid was standing with tears in their eyes to tell them to suck it up?

Think NOT, babe. My pony, my property, MY CHILD. Not yours. Your greed to get your hands on my property, and your kids “feelings”, aren’t my problem, nor do they fit into the final decision. My decision would be based upon what is best for my pony, and my child. Period.

[ESG]

I don’t get the vitriol towards the OP. Last I heard, “overly enthusiastic” wasn’t grounds for breaking what was at th VERY least a tentative deal.

And I agree with those who say the PO SHOULD weigh in. Being a breeder of nice horses and a skilled rider does NOT preclude misleading someone on a deal.

And quite honestly, I would be hard pressed to do a deal with someone, HOWEVER nice their horses or stellar their reputation, without getting an answer about the situation under discussion here. If they’ll screw someone over a pony advertised as “free”, imagine what might happen when there’s money involved. :cool

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=ESG;8101412]
I don’t get the vitriol towards the OP. Last I heard, “overly enthusiastic” wasn’t grounds for breaking what was at th VERY least a tentative deal.

And I agree with those who say the PO SHOULD weigh in. Being a breeder of nice horses and a skilled rider does NOT preclude misleading someone on a deal.

And quite honestly, I would be hard pressed to do a deal with someone, HOWEVER nice their horses or stellar their reputation, without getting an answer about the situation under discussion here. If they’ll screw someone over a pony advertised as “free”, imagine what might happen when there’s money involved. :cool[/QUOTE]

I’m sorry but even by the OP’s OWN ACCOUNT there was no deal or tentative deal. She was trying the pony. Endstop. Either party could say no after that point. One party did. Enough with this “screwing people over” business. By the OP’s OWN ADMISSIONS in her VERY FIRST POST, there was no deal reached, no terms negotiated, and no common understanding before she headed down to the PO’s farm. Even if you think it was a low down dirty thing to negotiate for tack-- there was NO BREACH of any agreement because there was never any agreement to start with.

[eastendjumper]

I’ve been PMed. Thanks!