…And we still don’t know how much the PO wanted for the saddle and tack. So what else are we carefully not being told?
1 Like
Carefull y’all… If you disagree with someone firmly you’re BULLYING 
everyone apologize and send OP a free pony to make amends!
1 Like
This has been a strange thread to read. I must admit, I was really hoping the PO would enter in, but I also admire such restraint.
OP, I have to wonder what your husband was doing while all this stuff transpired. Didn’t you say he took off work to join the family caravan to Ponyland? Did he just stand around while the deal fell through? Often the spouse or partner can be a voice of relative calm - not so crazified by the situation of potential horse transfer. Did he speak up in favor of buying the saddle to seal the deal? Against? In favor of involving the completely irrelevant mare breeder? Opposed? He is the only silent character so far in this chatty drama. Inquiring minds need to know.
I’m also dying to know who the PO is so if anyone is feeling charitable…
[QUOTE=Amiblue;8101749]
I hope everyone has a peaceful and wonderful week ahead and wish you all, even those of you who don’t particularly care for me and have shown it, the very best. I hold no hard feelings to you or to the pony’s owner. Take care! :-)[/QUOTE]
My advice is to step away from the keyboard.
Anyone else have to laugh at the OP’s remarks about CoTHer’s “correcting” any posters who weren’t ready to vilify the PO?
“Correcting” each other without facts has been a CoTH tradition since day one. It rarely involves facts. :lol:
Another long standing tradition is that most of us will be very sympathetic to anyone who makes a decision based on what is best for the horse, no matter who is upset in the process. We feel it is our ultimate responsibility to advocate for our beloved equine partners.
Many of us have been very sympathetic of you and the disappointment you felt returning home without a pony. We simply aren’t willing fault the PO for not sending her pony with you if she felt the pony’s future might be compromised by limited financial resources.
Continuing to attack the PO is making you much less sympathetic, I for one wish you had stopped several pages ago so I could read this as a spontaneous vent and not an attempt to shame the PO.
[QUOTE=vxf111;8102004]
Carefull y’all… If you disagree with someone firmly you’re BULLYING everyone apologize and send OP a free pony to make amends![/QUOTE]
Disagreeing repeatedly with someone in a childish manner, calling names, using a rude, agressive tone, just because you can and think it is somehow fun, is indeed bullying.
I’m sure the OP got your point from your first post. Bullying is writing the +19 more posts…
But hey, if you think it is funny…go on. :rolleyes:
1 Like
[QUOTE=alibi_18;8102059]
Disagreeing repeatedly with someone in a childish manner, calling names, using a rude, agressive tone, just because you can and think it is somehow fun, is indeed bullying.
I’m sure the OP got your point from your first post. Bullying is writing the +19 more posts…
But hey, if you think it is funny…go on. :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]
Feel free to point out where I was childish, rude, aggressive, or name calling.
Had the OP shown any inkling of actually LISTENING to what anyone had been saying, perhaps the thread would have died earlier. Instead she just kept going back to the same conversation and saying “it means X” even when multiple people are saying “there’s at least a possibility it means Y.” The OP’s own refusal to take any responsibility/examine her own role in the situation is why myself and other posters keep trying again and again to explain things to her.
Especially in light of her efforts to publicly shame someone else-- but accept no responsibility for the role she played in her own disappointment. I’ve said NUMEROUS times that it’s quite possible PO’s communication could have been better. OP won’t own any part of her own communication issues. She only wanted to be patted on the back and for everyone to shun the PO. THAT’S a big part of why people are being hard on her, I think. She could have seriously damaged someone’s reputation but won’t even spend a second looking critically at her own behavior.
There could be some fault on both sides in terms of communication. But OP refuses to accept that.
I’ve only read up to page 5, so if someone has mentioned this, my apoligies…
I’m having some trouble understanding why folks here haven’t caught an important aspect of the OP’s story–hat it’s a variant of the old “Bait and Switch” scam.
Here’s the wiki page:
[URL=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bait-and-switch”]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bait-and-switch
look down the page and find the part where it talks about “Resort Fees” where someone books a vacation at what seems to be a deal, and when they check in, there are extra fees added that weren’t advised of, and the traveler wasn’t ready for. What happened to the OP is exactly that!
The OP traveled, incurred expenses and lost time at work based on how the deal was presented by PO.
It doesn’t make a lick of difference why the PO did it. It’s still fraud.
[QUOTE=Sparrowette;8102064]
look down the page and find the part where it talks about “Resort Fees” where someone books a vacation at what seems to be a deal, and when they check in, there are extra fees added that weren’t advised of, and the traveler wasn’t ready for. What happened to the OP is exactly that!
The OP traveled, incurred expenses and lost time at work based on how the deal was presented by PO.
It doesn’t make a lick of difference why the PO did it. It’s still fraud.[/QUOTE]
Oh for christ’s sake. There’s no fraud because there was no contract and no guarantee of product.
There was simply a “come down and meet this pony, and we’ll see how it goes. hope it works out.”
Deciding that a home is not suitable for your LIVE ANIMAL and then backing out of whatever tentative deal may have been in place is not fraud.
The fact that the OP took it upon herself to drive SEVEN HOURS with a rented truck and trailer to go try out a free pony is entirely her decision. I am quite sure that there are suitable ponies closer to her that they could have gone to try. It is not a seller’s problem when the buyer chooses to make things difficult for themselves.
[QUOTE=Sparrowette;8102064]
I’ve only read up to page 5, so if someone has mentioned this, my apoligies…
I’m having some trouble understanding why folks here haven’t caught an important aspect of the OP’s story–hat it’s a variant of the old “Bait and Switch” scam.
Here’s the wiki page:
[URL=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bait-and-switch”]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bait-and-switch
look down the page and find the part where it talks about “Resort Fees” where someone books a vacation at what seems to be a deal, and when they check in, there are extra fees added that weren’t advised of, and the traveler wasn’t ready for. What happened to the OP is exactly that!
The OP traveled, incurred expenses and lost time at work based on how the deal was presented by PO.
It doesn’t make a lick of difference why the PO did it. It’s still fraud.[/QUOTE]
I think if you get further into the thread, that issue gets discussed. In essence, for there to be a bait and switch there has to be…
- An agreement that is final
- That one party unilaterally changes afterwards
The problem here is that we never seemed to get to #1. As much as the OP wants to argue that she had a final agreement, there’s really no way to read the conversation as constituting one. The best piece of evidence is the OP’s own belief that SHE could walk away if the kids tried the pony and it didn’t work. So she did not understand herself to be bound. She realized suitability was part of the decisionmaking process. She also realized the deal was not final.
I do think if the deal really was “I will not give pony unless you buy the tack” in a vacuum, that it should have been communicated earlier because that’s an important part of the deal that apparently was a dealbreaker both ways. But I suspect it didn’t come up that way, it probably came up more organically in the context of the PO being concerned about the OP’s financial wherewithal to care for the pony. Which is why the term entered the bargaining at what seemed to be a late stage of the game. I do think the PO should have done a little more due diligence before having the OP out and that the PO absolutely should have quashed (or tried to quash) some of the OP’s over-the-top enthusiasm… but I don’t think she was actually baiting and switching. And I don’t fault her for making a decision she thought was in the pony’s best interest even if it meant disappointing the OP.
I really cannot see how some of you are still asserting that the OP is the wronged party here.
There are so many red flags in the OP alone, let alone in the OP’s posting history.
Money is an issue. Her husband being supportive is an issue*. Telling her kids that it’s their pony without even meeting said pony to make sure it wasn’t a demon is a judgment issue. Mistaking, “Looking forward to meeting you, we’ll discuss everything in person tomorrow” for “you’re going home with a pony tomorrow!” is an issue. Having a 300lb underweight horse is an issue (I’m not saying that the rescue story wouldn’t check out, but if the only other horse the family owns is in this condition it would at LEAST warrant fact checking the rescue story.)
Despite repeated assertions that the PO agreed that the OP was going home with the pony, the OP has not been able to produce any evidence of anything but “looking forward to meeting you tomorrow! We’ll see how it all goes!” The OP demonstrates a lack of ability to read for comprehension on COTH. The OP refuses to post how much the tack (which was evidently such a sticking point) would have cost.
What about the sum of these facts makes some posters think, “I’m sure the OP didn’t misinterpret the PO at all and is telling the truth that the PO promised the pony to them sight unseen.”
???
*Direct quotes from the OP re: her husband (emphasis mine):
“We will and look forward to tomorrow as well. I want to make sure everything is good though. Mainly because my husband is doing a lot to help me get everything ready and I want him to continue to be involved and helping us.
I know that everyone is excited about getting her and if it doesn’t work out, I won’t get another chance. I want my entire family to be involved in horses.”
“I really hope you still like us when we get there (joking given the amount of time we communicated and how much she said we were perfect for the pony and just what she wanted for her) because everyone is on board and I don’t think I would be able to get my husband to again!”
Also, I know that “why would the PO encourage the OP to come down with a trailer if she wasn’t sure she was going to give them the pony?” has been a sticking point, but I submit that contrary to the OP’s interpretation, the PO wasn’t saying “don’t send a commercial hauler, you must personally drive the pony home!” like an eccentric whacko, but rather she wanted the family to meet the pony first and suggested they bring a trailer in case it all worked out.
This is an EXTREMELY common thing to do in the horse world - go look at a horse that you’re ready to move quickly on and have the trailer with you in case it all works out.
If this is in fact what happened, it is not the PO’s fault that the OP mistook bringing a trailer for “the pony is DEFINITELY going home with you on that trailer.”
1 Like
Haven’t had time to pop on COTH in months and just happened to this morning… this thread is interesting as I have two kids, ages 9 and 5, one of which has some special needs.
I would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS expect to find a pony that could quietly and safely tote my 3 YOUNG CHILDREN, one of which with undefined special needs (which could run the gamut of nearly undetectable to quite severe, we don’t know as OP was vague, which is fine) FOR FREE! And yes if free pony was that perfect I too would have just written the check for the tack and considered it money well spent.
I do have to agree with V that it seems OP had her own interpretation of how the conversations were playing out.
And I read 16 PAGES and still don’t have a clue who PO is.
[QUOTE=FatDinah;8101847]
I don’t understand why this family NEEDS a pony so urgently to have launched this expensive and time-consuming trip. The kids are 2, 4 and 6 and the oldest has limited physical ability. What are they going to do with the pony other than walk around on a leadline. When it is hot or cold or rainy those kids are not going to want to do anything. Both parents work and mom has a young thorobred so I am sure not a lot of extra barn time. Anyone thinking about giving a pony to this situation needs to keep in mind what pony’s life will be like because I think pon may end up like the Christmas toy tossed in a closet by New Year’s. I also suspect it is mom driving this pony campaign, not the kids. And it’s mom’s emotions hurt when the first pony owner did not go along with her fantasy.[/QUOTE]
How in the HECK could you assume ANY of this? Do you know them or anything about them? I mean, really?
Am I the only one who finds it amusing that the people who are the most up in arms that the OP identified the PO are the same people telling the rest of us how to go figure out who the PO is?
I never knew I could search there before and never would have known who the PO was if all the people up in arms had not posted detailed instructions.
2 Likes
[QUOTE=TBROCKS;8102091]
How in the HECK could you assume ANY of this? Do you know them or anything about them? I mean, really?[/QUOTE]
That post was a head scratcher for me too… as if no one ever gets their littles a pony? Never Ever? Just to leadline on? Riiiiiiiiiight…
And OP is the first person in history who has kids and works and has horses?
[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8102107]
That post was a head scratcher for me too… as if no one ever gets their littles a pony? Never Ever? Just to leadline on? Riiiiiiiiiight…
And OP is the first person in history who has kids and works and has horses?[/QUOTE]
Just think about the leadline classes at Devon!!
[QUOTE=SnicklefritzG;8102127]
Just think about the leadline classes at Devon!![/QUOTE]
I try not to. I can still picture the toddler crying hysterically in the gate at Harrisburg after pinning second in the leadline. 
First time I had ever seen leadline pinned as anything other than a “tie for first”.
17 pages of a one sided story…no fun.
OP-
- I’m sorry for both parties this did not work out.
- I see red flags in the communication that this was not a done deal, not having contract emailed to you prior is one.
- I am blessed to be a saintly pony owner, and I’m a mom. When I read your original “looking for a pony post”, I thought it would be a hard prescription to fill.
- Having a special needs child makes it more difficult. I’m sorry, there is no other way to say it.
- The pony may have been perfect for your kids, but perhaps PO did not feel it was a sustainable situation. I know my pony. He is pretty darn perfect. But- he’s a pony. Would his good behavior continue to tolerate a situation long term (spoken by someone who does not know your kids so I apologize if I am making assumptions. I am only going by my dealings w/ BIL who is special needs). Maybe the PO took a good look at the situation and did not think it was a good long term fit.
- I believe, though not palatable, it would have been best if you had received a straight answer as to why the pony was not going with you. I do not believe you were dealt with in a straight manner. Those conversations are difficult to have with people. It can be hard to say " I don’t think the pony is a good fit with your special needs child" without seeming like a jerk.
- Please take this as a (albiet painful and expensive) life lesson, tread slowly when making future “deals”. If something seems to good to be true, it most likely is.
- Slow down, read very carefully, listen carefully. I am a fast-paced person, as well. I think you missed some warning signs here. Perhaps because you have not been immersed in the horse world as long as some of us. Perhaps, in general, you miss this type of warnings in your nonhorse life. (not accusing).
- Good luck finding a pony. They are out there. Get a contract IN HAND next time. Someone is handing over their beloved pony to you. Please protect yourself, your children, and the PO in the future and plan very carefully. Realize it is as hard for them to turn their pony over to someone, as it was for you to leave empty handed.
I am truly sorry that this turned out to be such a mess but I think you can learn a very valuable life lesson here (not villifying anyone).
Everything happens for a reason. Your pony is out there!
