Word to the Wise: Lesson Reminder for Everyone

[meupatdoes]

[QUOTE=Amiblue;8098187]
That’s why we spoke for so long. Watched all the videos, had the agreement that if for any reason it didn’t work out, she would be returned to them, etc. We also discussed a 30 day trial before finalizing even though they also would have first buy back options just in case something happened in the future which more than likely wouldn’t have. Regardless, it was agreed we would be picking her up and taking her home that day.[/QUOTE]

Well, if that’s really the case, I don’t see why you didn’t just have a pro hauler pick her up and bring her to your barn with the 30 day trial agreement in place.

Conveniently that skips loading the entire family into the wagon train for a two day road trip and also clarifies whether the seller is serious about dealing with you.

[Ajierene]

I’m a bit stuck on the price of the equipment as well. The original post stated the only thing that was not suitable was the saddle. The boots, blanket, bridle, etc could have been used. So, really it was just the saddle. Also, I would have considered it a ‘package deal’ anyway - I was getting pony AND all the stuff for X price, I just couldn’t pick what I wanted out of the bunch. When I got my first tack trunk, I paid for the trunk and all the stuff in it - a boarder had abandoned the trunk. Some of it was useful, some of it wasn’t, but I got a trunk at a reasonable price.

If I go to 3 antique stores looking for an antique oil lamp and the same lamp is for sale for $50. I go to the 4th store and the same lamp is for sale for $20. I take it up to the cashier and am told I can only buy it if I buy some $10 item that I do not want. Well, I am still paying less than the other three stores so it is a deal. Now, if I am told I can only buy it if I buy some $30 item, then it is not a deal. I make the decision and go about my way. I feel no need to complain about the seller and won’t say anything unless random friend asks why I didn’t purchase item or why I have extra item.

I can see a few reasons the seller may have done what she did - was told by husband had to get rid of stuff if getting rid of pony, stalling because she decided she did not want to give pony to buyer or give pony away at all, suddenly realized pony is worth some money so trying to get money out of person, etc.

The why doesn’t matter, the deal did not change after signatures, it was changed when potential buyer could still back out - it is a bit of a scam, but buyer had the choice to comply or back out.

[ben4me]

OP. I am sorry but your over-enthusiastic and rambling texts would have at least made me cringe. Try to keep it in check next time
That being said, I have 2 points

1. I may be mistaken but you don’t sound very horse-savvy. Perhaps the PO thought so too when she met you. I’m not saying a newbie shouldn’t have a horse, everyone’s a newbie once! But maybe not an older pony with maintenance issues.
2. The owner knows the horse’s suitability best. Example. I went to look at 2 OTTBs from the local Hunt’s huntsman. He strongly suggested the much cheaper, unattractive one but I wanted the cute flashy one. LONG story short… A year later he took back the flashy one I bought back for retraining for the hunt. The deal was I had to keep the unattractive one in my boarding stall. Since I had nothing else to ride… I now own him and everyone covets him. The cute one now happily hunting. Point? Owner knows suitability!
   There will be a pony for you. I too, suggest a closer to home search so your kids can take some lessons on it first. Good luck!

[vxf111]

I get the real sense that the particulars were NOT settled before the OP got there. The OP viewed this as a done deal, she was picking up the pony. The seller/donor seemed to view this as a test to see if the pony would work and THEN they’d negotiate terms.

The OP seems to get REALLY excited and sometimes have a little trouble slowing down and misses details in her over enthusiasm. I don’t see anywhere that the seller/donor explicitly said “ok, the deal is pony for free, no strings attached, that is all. These are the complete terms of our final agreement” Rather, it looks to me like they were still negotiating at the time of the trial, hadn’t arrived at a final contract with terms, etc. at the time the OP showed up. She was over enthusiastic and assumed she’d close the deal-- trailer in tow, but they hadn’t really fully negotiated things.

I agree that the seller/donor should have been a lot clearer and more up front for the sake of things being more patent. If selling the tack was part of the deal and a dealbreaker, it would have made sense to discuss this before the OP showed up with kids and trailer. BUT the OP seems to have jumped the gun a little and reading between the lines the seller/donor was just at a bit of a loss for how to deal with it. As I read things, the seller/donor thought the OP and family were coming to try the horse and THEN would negotiate terms if the test ride went well. Which is what the seller/donor did. The OP thought the terms were set and she was just trying and picking up the pony. This wasn’t necessarily altogether reasonable because BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR THE ROADTRIP, the seller/donor said (in essence) “I haven’t looked at the contract, we’ll negotiate terms after you get here.” Terms could include, for example, buying and taking the pony’s tack.

I see a lack of communication here, not necessarily a “scam.” But I think the failure to communicate falls a little on both parties. At least from what’s been posted.

To be fair, I am not sure how I’d react to someone as overenthusiastic as the OP. I think I’d be taken aback, and it might throw off a bit my usual ‘when to negotiate terms’ sense. Seller/donor might have been fairly convinced that the pony wouldn’t actually work, and when it did then she felt like she had to scramble with this over enthusiastic person about to load the pony on the trailer and the seller/donor just handled it inartfully.

[Angela_Freda]

[QUOTE=vxf111;8099438]
Who is blaming her? Not me. All I am saying is she missed the big picture-- if the pony was THAT GOOD, buy the dang tack and don’t lose the amazing pony over a small peanuts amount of money that could be recouped in part by selling the tack.[/QUOTE]

People telling her to stop having an online temper tantrum, saying she was too enthusiastic, etc.

Thing is if the ‘seller’ will change her mind about what the deal even is [a free pony vs. a pony you can have if you buy this tack you do not need/want] then what other agreements were made that ‘seller’ would also change last minute as well?

I would guess that OP dodged a bullet cutting ties when she did.

[chai]

There is no use speculating why the pony owner changed the terms of the verbal agreement at the last minute. It’s just an unfortunate situation that happens when you’re horse shopping. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. I once took two 12 hour drives to New York and spent $350 on a pre-purchase exam before the pre-purchase vet discovered that the sellers had substituted another horse’s hock x-rays for the sale horse. I was out 2 days of work, the money spent on the pre-purchase exam until I ended it and had a very disappointed child, but that’s the horse world sometimes.
OP, I am sorry you and your kids were disappointed, but keep looking. This one just wasn’t meant to be.
Put the word out locally or start saving up to buy a suitable pony for your children while they take lessons. Good luck.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8099457]
People telling her to stop having an online temper tantrum, saying she was too enthusiastic, etc.

Thing is if the ‘seller’ will change her mind about what the deal even is [a free pony vs. a pony you can have if you buy this tack you do not need/want] then what other agreements were made that ‘seller’ would also change last minute as well?

I would guess that OP dodged a bullet cutting ties when she did.[/QUOTE]

I’m not sure the seller “changed her mind.” As explained in #123, the OP assumed she had reached an agreement when she packed up the trailer but I’m not at all sure she had or that the seller/donor thought so. Even assuming all the facts the OP has given us are true, the seller/donor made it clear that she had not even reviewed the contract-- let alone agreed to it.

And a separate point is… if even if was sh*tty or even dishonest for the seller/donor to do what she did… it was probably a small potatoes price to pay for a great pony. The OP failed/fails to see that.

[Casey09]

[QUOTE=vxf111;8099456]
I get the real sense that the particulars were NOT settled before the OP got there. The OP viewed this as a done deal, she was picking up the pony. The seller/donor seemed to view this as a test to see if the pony would work and THEN they’d negotiate terms.

The OP thought the terms were set and she was just trying and picking up the pony. This wasn’t necessarily altogether reasonable because BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR THE ROADTRIP, the seller/donor said (in essence) “I haven’t looked at the contract, we’ll negotiate terms after you get here.” Terms could include, for example, buying and taking the pony’s tack.

I see a lack of communication here, not necessarily a “scam.” But I think the failure to communicate falls a little on both parties. At least from what’s been posted.[/QUOTE]

This is how I read the situation as well. Part of it I think is the problem with texting, and part of it is the failure if communication on the part of both parties.
I do think that if the owner thought about the pony and tack in advance, she absolutely should have said, “I think it is a fabulous deal - I’m selling this wonderful, safe pony for $x, including her bridle, saddle, and blankets and sheets.” If she wanted to assess the situation and knew that in advance, she should have discouraged the OP from assuming it was a done deal more.
From reading into the texts, hindsight being 20/20, it seems to me that the OP thinks it is basically settled, IF she wants the pony, whereas the owner wants to hash out the terms upon the OP’s arrival.
We don’t know if the owner premeditated the whole thing, or if she started thinking about the ins and outs and started worrying that the OP, if looking for a free pony, might not be able to afford an unexpected veterinary expense and THEN decided that adding the tack on would help her to determine whether the OP could, say, afford to call a vet if the pony needed stitches, etc. (Not that I think OP couldn’t, but maybe that was the owner’s thought pattern).
I don’t think the owner was as upfront as she could have been, but I think if OP had seen something she didn’t like, she would have still been able to walk away. Hence, so could the pony owner. The terms hadn’t been hashed out. Again, hindsight, but when the OP texted, to paraphrase, “So we are coming tomorrow, is this all we need?” The owner basically replied with, “I do want a contract, but I haven’t thought about the details, let’s work it out tomorrow.” That interaction via text could have been like a giant stop sign to the OP. If you haven’t read the contract, you know nothing is set in stone yet.
I sympathize with the OP because I can understand that it would be horrible to have three excited kids and to have to go home empty handed because extra stipulations were added on. I also can understand why the owner might have changed her mind. I can’t say I’d give a pony I loved or my son loved in her senior years and requiring maintenance to someone online. I know the OP feels like it was time the owner’s son sent the pony to teach someone else, but I could also understand the sentiment of wanting to either keep the pony, or find someone that the owner knew, without a shadow of doubt, could afford the pony. Perhaps doubt cropped up overnight.

[Angela_Freda]

[QUOTE=vxf111;8099465]
I’m not sure the seller “changed her mind.” As explained in #123, the OP assumed she had reached an agreement when she packed up the trailer but I’m not at all sure she had or that the seller/donor thought so. Even assuming all the facts the OP has given us are true, the seller/donor made it clear that she had not even reviewed the contract-- let alone agreed to it.

And a separate point is… if even if was sh*tty or even dishonest for the seller/donor to do what she did… it was probably a small potatoes price to pay for a great pony. The OP failed/fails to see that.[/QUOTE]

I think you fail to see that the price may have, in the end, increased and increased… when you consider buyer was dealing with a ‘seller’ who changes the parameters of the agreement, and uses coercion to force people into doing what she wants.

At least that’s how I see it.

Bottom line, even if the seller had said she looked at her contract, or any other loose ties had been tied up… this could have still gone south.
You can never know that you have every I dotted and T crossed… and once you are standing there with the fams, a trailer and miles between you and home is a tough time to realize that.

[vxf111]

[QUOTE=Angela Freda;8099493]
I think you fail to see that the price may have, in the end, increased and increased… when you consider buyer was dealing with a ‘seller’ who changes the parameters of the agreement, and uses coercion to force people into doing what she wants.

At least that’s how I see it.

Bottom line, even if the seller had said she looked at her contract, or any other loose ties had been tied up… this could have still gone south.
You can never know that you have every I dotted and T crossed… and once you are standing there with the fams, a trailer and miles between you and home is a tough time to realize that.[/QUOTE]

Now you’re missing the point. If there was never a meeting of the minds and no price was ever agreed upon… then the price isn’t INCREASING from an agreed upon point and no deal is being changed. There was never an agreed price. There was never an agreed deal. OP thought the negotiations were done but she wasn’t terribly reasonable in thinking so. Seller/donor SAID “we’ll negotiate after you get here.”

I don’t see anyone pulling a fast one. I see 2 people talking past one another but the OP is the one who decided to get in the trailer KNOWING that they had not agreed upon terms. Not the seller/donor. No one made the OP hit the road with an unnegotiated deal looming. That was her choice. They didn’t reach a deal. That’s what happens sometimes when you negotiate. She put herself in the position where she had less negotiating power/more invested in the deal. The seller/donor didn’t make her do that. She chose to. Before she hit the road… she should have negotiated fully the terms of the deal.

I would never load up the trailer until I had a fully negotiated contract, the PPE had been done, and all the terms were negotiated with all that’s left being to sign and exchange payment for horse. Because until you start negotiating-- you don’t know what the terms are. The seller/donor was explicit that she did not want to negotiate the contract and terms until after the pony was tried. The prudent course of action would be to go down in the car, with kids. Try the pony. Go home, negotiate back and forth over the terms. Reach an agreement. Then go down with the trailer, sign contract, hand over check, and load pony. The OP just assumed she could skip over the negotiating and that meant the negotiation was at an end. Not a reasonable assumption, as it turns out.

OP did you ever even ASK about price/terms before hitting the road? Seller/donor said her MAIN concern was right of first refusal but she never said that was the ONLY term.

[chisamba]

From the OP this sounded like a hustle to me. find a long distance adopter, make the family fall in love with the pony, that is supposedly free, and then hustle them for the tack and equipment. however to the OP, i would say , suck it up and consider it a good lesson and if you want to warn about a hustle, just stick to the minor details do not feel as though the forum owes you restitution

However, it was of course posted from only the one point of view.

the lessons to learn:

just because a person, or people are on an online bulletin board, does not make them ethical

if you want to get a “free” pony, go with something local, and expect the owner to want a no sale, return contract.

do not take your kids with ., pretend they are getting a lesson, find ways for them to try the pony without making promises.

anyway, to the OP i am sorry you were all so disappointed.

[PeanutButterPony]

I had a prospective buyer send me an essay describing every horse wreck she’d had in 20 years. And all to ask if the mare I was selling sounded like a match.

No. I said the mare is gentle but needs a confident leader, as she’s still young.

She replied that I was cruel and heartless and wrong.

Sigh.

No.

[laskiblue]

Aggh, the situation is a bummer all around. Maybe it’s my ex-paralegal background, but I would not have made that kind of drive without at least a tentatively agreed upon contract in place. Granted, either party could still change their mind, but it would clarify the situation for both parties to a greater degree. OP, I hope the perfect pony for your kids comes along soon.

[JustTheTicket]

I’m still holding out for the pony owner to share her side of things. This thread isn’t quite the trainwreck I was hoping for.

[CaitlinandTheBay]

OP- you keep referring to this thread as just a “reminder” to people, but it’s not. You are annoyed and you are venting. Could people learn a lesson from this? Sure. But if you really wanted to “remind” people to not count their chickens before they hatch, you could have done it in a much classier way. This smacks of goading the PO.

FWIW- I agree with vxf. It seems that you thought everything was a done deal and the owner wanted to negotiate terms after you tried the pony (as is pretty standard for horse sales). It is not the owner’s fault or responsibility that you spent $XXX getting everything ready (stall, trailer rental, etc) for this trip. That is a cost you chose to take on.

Furthermore, if your budget (your perceived value of the pony) for the pony was XXX and you were spending XXX to go get her, you probably shouldn’t have gone. Your cost (outside of purchase price) has nothing to do with the seller and it’s unfair to ask them to not be compensated or even begin negotiation because you’ve “already spent so much”. This reminds me of the thread where the seller had a buyer for her horse but buyer wanted her to come down on the price so he could afford a $7000 custom saddle. Same principle- the seller shouldn’t be out money because you decided to already spend your budget. That’s like not tipping a waiter because of the cost of your meal.

The cost of tack, even if it was much more than you feel the tack is worth, is a small price to pay for a pony that you can trust with your children. People are jumping on the seller, calling this a scam, but maybe she was just trying to be helpful. She has all this stuff that already fits the pony, is probably labeled with the pony’s info, and should go with the pony. OP is going to have to buy blankets and such anyways, why not take the convenience of having them already? Also, if said pony is hard to fit, it makes sense that she would only let the pony go with stuff she knows fits (even if OP believes tack did not fit).

[Amiblue]

We were asked by her to personally drive down to get her instead of hiring the shipper I wanted to. She felt if we did that, then we really were interested in her and not just to resell her. She even commented when we were there on how comfortable she was with us knowing we probably wouldn’t have done all that we did just to resell her. I also thought it would help her son say goodbye knowing she was going to a family with children who already adored her and clearly showed it.

VXF111: The agreement was made. After she contacted me with her offer of the pony, I asked her how much she was asking for her. This is her response, one that was discussed on many occasions after with no additional requirements added to it (I took her profile name off to continue maintaining a sense of privacy for her):

Mar. 12, 2015, 10:28 PM
Advanced
Join Date
(Edited out as it is apparently searchable)
Posts
(Edited out)
Default Re: Pony
Thank you so much!! I don’t really want money for (pony name), I just want a nice safe place for her, because my son has unfortunately outgrown her. We all adore her so we will be picky with her new family. I could send you some pics and videos if you like

We have had many conversations for over a month. Verbal, written, instant messaging, at no time were the requirements changed or anything added. She was offering us her pony for free, even after I asked her how much she wanted for her. We were coming down with a set of written and verbal expectations and if at anytime prior to us arriving to pick her up as was planned between us, she had said this is a package deal requirement vs us coming to pick up the free pony, it would have been something we would have discussed. Not saying anything until the trailer was open and I was going to load her after being there for several hours that if we wouldn’t buy all the gear (I offered to buy the bridle and was considering some of the other items) at their price then they didn’t feel we could afford the care of a pony. How can not purchasing a saddle we didn’t know was going to be a required buy to receive the free pony, that isn’t appropriate and 4 sizes to big, a reflection of our ability to provide wonderful care?

I know you are very adamant about your position, however, if you had all of the communication we did with an owner, made arrangements at the owners request to personally drive down to pick the pony up prior to the 11th, were told that this is our pony to pick up and bring home with at no time it being any different or being told anything other than this is your pony (to your children even), you are perfect for each other, we are very comfortable with you which was also said after being there for several hours, until you said you wouldn’t buy an item that is over priced, unusable and unexpectedly added at the end as a requirement because you wanted your saddle fitter to fit a new one that would be more appropriate, you would be okay with that?

[merrygoround]

Moral of the story. Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.
The house isn’t sold/bought until the end of closing.
You don’t have the job until you pick up the pitchfork, the
second day.
The horse isn’t sold/bought until it’s on the trailer.

[ElisLove]

@Amiblue;8099717

Mar. 12, 2015, 10:28 PM
[edit]
Default Re: Pony
Thank you so much!! I don’t really want money for (pony name), I just want a nice safe place for her, because my son has unfortunately outgrown her. We all adore her so we will be picky with her new family. I could send you some pics and videos if you like

This doesn’t necessarily read ‘free pony’ to me. It sounds a little more like a ‘make an offer’ to me. If she had said ‘I don’t want money for him’ then that reads ‘free’, but saying ‘I don’t REALLY want money for him’ doesn’t quite read ‘free’ to me. So maybe that’s where some of this confusion is coming from.

[Amiblue]

[QUOTE=ElisLove;8099767]
This doesn’t necessarily read ‘free pony’ to me. It sounds a little more like a ‘make an offer’ to me. If she had said ‘I don’t want money for him’ then that reads ‘free’, but saying ‘I don’t REALLY want money for him’ doesn’t quite read ‘free’ to me. So maybe that’s where some of this confusion is coming from.[/QUOTE]

The pony has been referred to as a gift and free on multiple occasions.

Add: Her stated goal in all our conversations was to find a family with children for her who will love and care for her as they did and that if at anytime anything happens or doesn’t work out, that she would have the first option of getting her back versus being sold or given to anyone else. Which I agreed to.

[RPM]

[QUOTE=Amiblue;8098130]
As a reminder to everyone, if you have been offered a free horse or pony who has been outgrown by someone’s child or grandchild, no matter the age, make sure you know who you are dealing with and realize that they have nothing to lose.

Over a month ago I posted looking for an inexpensive pony for my children to learn with and got many great responses that I put into play. Was offered many wonderful pony’s and small horses in varying prices, disciplines and sizes, but one in particular stood out to me (because of COTH). The owner and I spoke for a month through online messages, facebook, on the phone and I offered to Skype to ensure she was comfortable with me, my children, the boarding facility we board at and showed pictures of my transforming Thoroughbred. The night before we were to leave to make the 7 hour one way drive with the horse trailer, we had this conversation (I took out the names and information that would say who everyone is to be respectful of their privacy):

Wednesday 9:44pm ME
Hi! Tried to give you a call but it may be to late. I wanted to make sure everything was good for tomorrow and see if you had any questions or concerns. I also wanted to go over what we decided to do. If we would bring her back here with a contract that you have first options if ever (which you will never have to worry about as she will never leave us) if there is ever a problem or if we will do a trial for a couple of weeks before finalizing? I promise always lots of pictures and constant updates in addition to anytime visits, lol. You can ask my mares breeder! We are looking forward to meeting you tomorrow and hope we don’t look to crazy after being in the car for hours with the kids, lol!!! Thank you so much! J, B and E (my children) are very excited and made sure her stall was all ready tonight while I got the trailer hooked up. They even went to bed!!! Well, we will see you tomorrow! Will update you along the way so you will know where we are. My phone number is 000-000-0000 to just incase you need it again.

HER
Thank you so much for the mail, we are looking forward to meet your family tomorrow and will talk about everything, have a safe trip!!!

ME
We will and look forward to tomorrow as well. I want to make sure everything is good though. Mainly because my husband is doing a lot to help me get everything ready and I want him to continue to be involved and helping us.
I know that everyone is excited about getting her and if it doesn’t work out, I won’t get another chance. I want my entire family to be involved in horses.

HER
I totally understand that and I think its great that he is so supportive. About the contract, I admit that we haven’t looked into any types of contract yet, so if it is ok with you we would write one tomorrow. I would like to make firm that we will get her back if anything goes wrong… You are not allowed to sell her. Thats really my most important point. By the way, do you have my adress?

ME
Yes and thank you, that would be fine. And I can promise you she won’t go anywhere. She will not be sold or given to anyone. If there is ever a time when we can’t keep her for whatever reason, you will be the first to know.
And no, I don’t have it. That might be important

HER
could be My adress is (her address) and I guess you have my cell phone??

ME
think that is the number I have. It is the one you called me from I believe. I saved it.
Correct me if I am wrong though. Please

HER
Yes it is

ME
Good. And just so you know, my cell phone number is the same one we have had for 12 years. It is never going to change, lol.
So between Facebook and cell phone plus I can give you my email, you will always have a way to get pictures!

HER
sounds good

ME
(My email)

HER
Thank you !!

ME
Thank you. I can’t even tell you how much this means to me. It really is the greatest gift. Thank you for sharing her with us.

HER
as long as she and your family will enjoy each other, that is all we want my son will be there too… he is a little concerned that (Pony name) will leave…

ME
I can’t wait to meet him and have him meet my children. I think once he meets B (my daughter), he will probably feel better though I know he will miss her. She was his first pony. That will always be special. He will always be able to visit to and hopefully one day soon, we will be living down there to.

HER
I really hope that will work out for you. It is beautiful down here and he would like to visit her.

And that conversation went into other topics that included the fact we are looking to move to her area.

Earlier in the week I sent her this:

ME
Monday 9:00pm
Hi! We hope you had a wonderful Easter! I want to give you an update: We reserved the trailer and paid for two days so we could take our time in coming down and going back. Had the truck and trailer inspected by the mechanic to make sure everything is good to make the trip and we are cleared to go. I figured we would be, but I prefer to be safe than sorry, lol. We got her stall ready, bought extras of everything from minerals and carrots to ground flax and Triple Crown and have decided which pasture she will do the best in. My husband is working on getting time off so he can come down with us and as soon as I have the days, I will let you know. He knows it has to be this week and within a day or two. (Her request) So, everything is coming together and we are super excited. I showed my husband her videos today and my daughter was very excited telling him that (Pony name) is her pony and she is going to get to ride her and brush her and take care of her. When you meet her you will see how cute this is. Thank you very much for everything. I really hope you still like us when we get there (joking given the amount of time we communicated and how much she said we were perfect for the pony and just what she wanted for her) because everyone is on board and I don’t think I would be able to get my husband to again! This opportunity is amazing and I can’t tell you how much it is appreciated by all of us. Thank You

Her
sounds good looking forward to meet you all!!

And there is a lot more. So she knew we were coming down to pick her up. That
They told my Daughter this was her pony and that she was leaving with us today, but they kept stalling on bringing down the contract and kept showing me the pony’s tack that they asked if I would be interested in buying. The bridle I was as she went well in it. A few of the other items like the

Class dismissed. :-)[/QUOTE]

I see the owner saying that she is not as certain about giving you the pony as you are about getting it. She says very clearly that the contract will be drawn up AFTER you get to her barn. I see you assuming more than she is stating.

I’m not saying she handled this well at all, just that she never said it was a done deal.

But, like others here, I still don’t know why you weren’t willing to pay for the saddle and consider its price the price of the pony. You haven’t replied to any requests about its price and I am almost getting the feeling you used that part of the deal to back out of the whole thing.

I also wonder if the owner thought you might not show up after all. A lot of prospecive buyers don’t show up to try a horse even a few miles down the road. When you factor in a husband and three kids, and how plans involving so many people can change at the last minute, pony owner might have figured you would decide at the last minute not to make that long drive. Maybe she (or her son) secretly hoped you would change your minds at the last minute. She didn’t “know” you were coming; she knew you had “said” you were coming.

Her telling your daughter that this was “her pony” while stalling totally sucks, IMO.