Narcissist are not born, they are raised.
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Different cultures and different times allow for expression of different mental problems and even name them differently.
A very traditional culture with strong gender roles might mean on one hand, womenās personality disorders were kept out of public view and menās personality disorders werenāt questioned nearly as much.
We are currently in a culture that rewards some of the traits of narcissism and provides public platforms for ordinary people to exhibit narcissistic behaviour. So that will seem more visible.
A narcissistic woman in say the 1950s could make her childrenās life horrible but probably couldnāt fabulize and lie beyond the limit of her own block and her immediate family. She couldnāt loose herself upon the world in the same way as today.
And if a woman was married to a narcissist or someone with borderline personality disorder she just probably plugged along with her unhappy marriage.
āā¹āā¹āā¹āā¹āā¹
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And I thought we were going to ignore herā¦ please, letās do!
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I donāt have the time this morning (darn work getting in the way) to go back and read all the comments, but I believe the topic of the property selling did come up in the comments of the COTH Facebook post about the column this thread is about.
If it hasnāt been stated earlier, 19,000 pages of convoluted social media crap can certainly bog down and complicate a record. It can also be used by a certain party to emphasize or de-emphasize certain aspects of the event after the fact to put the facts of the case or the position of the defense into question.
I always thought YD was a bot. Given their statement in another thread about referring to āpotatoes Anna as a way to make them appear more human.āĀ In any event, YD has contributed immensely to entangled ramblings on these threads such that at times nothing makes sense, which may play in the defenseāsā favor to regard much of social media content of this type as ramblings in an attempt to produce a post-event āpseudo record.āĀ
Happy Friday.
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Somewhere a few pages back it was mentioned that the NJ farm was no longer for sale. Had some time to nose around, it is still an active listing, price was dropped from $2.5 mm to $2mm. https://www.longandfoster.com/homes-for-sale/411-W-Mill-Rd-Washington-Twp-NJ-07853-282364432
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Huh? Seems like if this were true, she wouldnāt have engaged in the forums, Chronicle posts, and on facebook the way that she didā¦
Although she is oddly (and thankfully, for her own benefit) silent now.
I hope her physical, mental, and emotional healing has continued. The truth, whatever it is, will come out.
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She may be silent here but she has gone hog wild on the Chronicle FB post about the same article. Nutso. Nothing has changed. I actually feel a bit sorry for her.
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Actually the amount of made up or exaggerated claims are few. And yes, their investigation does take time away from the legit ones. But please, this type of post can discourage someone who is concerned from reporting. Even if you are not positive, a suspicion needs reported.
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Well, this is a rather simplified overview. And even in this article itās obvious that the same bad parenting does not create the same bad outcome in every child. To the extent that there is a genetic heritable component to personality disordersorders and mental health issues, and addictive personalities (widely accepted but the genes are not isolated yet), it may be impossible to entirely untangle genetics and environment.
Also the same parenting does not necessarily create the same personality disorder in all children in a family. Itās rare to have more than one child with a major personality disorder in a family. The others may or may not be unhappy, anxious, etc., but thatās not in the same league.
The standard line on personality disorders these days seems to be that they cannot actually be changed or treated. A person might learn to modify their behaviour for better results in the world but it doesnāt change their basic personality structure.
I havenāt known anyone whose child grew up to have a major personality disorder but I have watched my peers bring up kids that struggled with anxiety, depression, Aspergerās spectrum type things, substance abuse, and one suicide in early 20s. I have also watched kids who seemed to be a complete meltdown at 16 get their lives together by their mid 20s with continued parental love and supported.
I think itās very hard to know what you are dealing with at 16, or even at 21, until the adolescent storm recedes a bit. My friends with unhappy teen or young adult children will say the big thing is to get them through to their mid 20s without them killing themselves accidently or on purpose.
And indeed to the extent that this Psychology Today talks about parental causes of narcissism in children, it is not saying itās caused by too much support and unconditional love. Rather, the opposite. Conditional love, erratic demands, and other kinds of performance pressure on the child contribute to poor boundaries and an inability to form emotional bonds with the parents that have appropriate boundaries but also trust.
According to the article its not āsoftā parents who āspoilā and 'emable" their children that contribute real narcissist personality disorder. Rather itās parents who canāt give love and support when it matters.
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Yes, that thread is very interesting. LK quickly gets off topic and starts trying to lob insults and accusations about past interactions at individual posters that make no sense to the general reader. From the responses it sounds like thereās a lot of confusion and fabulation on her part.
She does seem to be staying off the actual details of the case, as far as I went into the thread.
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I went back to the news articles and it appears that MB was charged with āpossession of a weapon for unlawful purpose.ā
I googled a bit and it turns out in NJ that does not necessarily mean that you were in illegal possession of a gun. It means that you did something illegal with a gun like point it at someone or shoot them. Even if that gun was your own legally registered weapon. So this charge says nothing at all about who owns the gun.
https://www.newjerseygunlawyers.com/possession-weapon-unlawful-purpose-nj-2c39-4/
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Maybe you posted this for everybody else, but I wasnāt the one who said that narcissism was due to coddling parents.
Narcissistic parents usually have a narcissist child in the mix exactly because they cannot provide the proper nurturing to that child. Thatās not genetic, according to the research, itās imprinting. Thatās a very good explanation why all of the children donāt turn out that way. Usually, itās the first child, because the cycle between the parent and child has already been set up, but not always, because the focus shifts.
There are two psychologists in our family, and several medical professionals, and even a few clinical researchers. These discussions have occurred quite frequently over many years at the dinner table and holidays. Iām not just throwing random stuff out there.
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Sheās going on with the rants at all hours of night and day on COTH fb article, quite amazing. Not sure how she manages to eat or sleep, Do feel sorry for those on her receiving end. Not sure if she has the will power to stay away as LalaPop for longā¦
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I totally agree with your summing up here
āā¹āā¹āā¹āā¹
āā¹āā¹āā¹Yeah, I guess I was responding to the comments upthread that personality disorders were caused by āenablingā or not putting resources into mental health.
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I thought about this a lot when brought up in the earlier closed thread when a reference was made to both LK and NP in regards to their social behavior.
At an early age, my son could get quite explosive when things didnāt go his way, and it was never his fault. Early elementary teachers did not know how to handle it, so up until 4th grade, at the beginning of every school year, I would have to send a note saying, 'This is whatās going to happen, and here is how you have to handle it." He wouldnāt just disrupt his own class, he would have teachers coming outta classrooms all down the hallway, and it could be something as simple as being told to sit in a different desk. In games, if he won, it was, āHaha! You SUCK!ā If he lost, he would go into a rage that they cheated.
But in 4th grade, we ended up in a school with amazing resources and they recognized the behavior immediately. He was set up in counseling sessions with a counselor and other students several times a week where he learned appropriate reactions and how to properly interact with other kids. Since that time Iāve received multiple comments, from strangers even, on what a nice young man he is. Heās 20 now and doing quite well in the world on his own.
Iām no psychologist, but I think as parents, itās hard to recognize these behaviors in young children and how to properly deal with them. Or we just dismiss it as āpart of growing upā. I think the failure is that unless itās recognized and addressed early on, they grow up to be adults with the same mindset, and everyone in their path is vulnerable.
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I totally agree. I think this was referring to those who report people repeatedly for bogus reasons.
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The YankeeDutchess account is associated with an email address that can be linked to a person who is not LKās mother, so that line of speculation can be dropped.
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If you say so , oh.
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I started to read through those FB comments and just couldnāt finish. Something about the back and forth made me so damned uncomfortable and a little sad. My hope is the victim and everyone affected can heal from the ordeal.
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