offcourse - I’ll stick to songwriting - my talents are extremely offensive to the ears even in the shower 
Thanks guys - this is fun, isn’t it? 
offcourse: a Horse Show Mom convention - what an awesome idea! At the very least, we ought to have our own clique here on the bb, don’t you think?
In the dark desert Sandland
Sandy wind in my hair
One smell of manure dust
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I couldn’t see any light
The sand grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to scratch for the night
There we stood at the ingate
I heard the judge’s bell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be heaven or this could be hell
The she picked up her left lead
And she towed me away
There were voices on the loudspeaker
Thought I heard them say
Welcome to the HITS Show Calfornia
Such a muddy place
Sand blows in your face
No extra stalls at the HITS Show California
In the early year
You can find it here
Her bit is definitely twisted
She follows all the new trends
She has a lot of pretty pretty grooms
That she calls friends
How they dance in the barn aisles
Sweet horse show sweat
Some course to remember
Some course to forget
So I called to my trainer
Please bring me my crop
And she said
“You only need that when your horse wants to stop”
And still those announcers are calling from far away
Call you out of the schooling ring
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the HITS Show California
Such a muddy place
Sand blows in your face
Bring a lot of loot
And your rubber boots
Oxers down the long side
Combinations aren’t nice
And she said “We’re all exhibitors here
Paying an outrageous price”
And in their jumper classic
They galloped in the two
The stab them with their steely spurs
But they just can’t win the blue
Last thing I remember
I was jumping through the four
I had to make a rollback turn
To the jump I jumped before
Relax, said my trainer
You’re the last once to be seen
You can gallop any time you like
But you can’t ever lean
Sorry to chime in so late but am only sporadically online…these are phenomenal parodies 
So where is Part 1?? And where were you all in the Janis Joplin/haiku days??? Although the latter cannot hold a candle to the bright flame of your collective creativity… 
Thanks Heidi!
And now, from the Rocky Mountain Warmblood Collection, tribute to John Denver…Leaving From the Long Spot (to the tune of Leaving on a Jet Plane)
All my tack is on
I’m ready to go
I’m standing here in the grooming stall
I’ve lunged so many circles I could cry
But the dawn is breaking
It’s early morn
The judge is waiting
Blowin’ the horn
Already I’m so nervous I could shy
(Chorus)
So pat me and give to me
Tell me you won’t pull on me
Don’t hold me like you’ll never let me go
‘Cause I’m leavin’ from the long spot
Don’t know when I’ll touch down again
Oh babe, I hate to chip
There’s so many times I’ve let you down
So many times I’ve played around
I’ll tell you now I promise not to buck
Every change of lead, I change for you
Every course I jump I’ll jump for you
When we’re done they’ll bring your winning blue
Chorus
Now the time has come to leave you
Hold on tight and just don’t snag me
Close your eyes, I’ll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won’t find the spot alone
About the time, I won’t have to say
Chorus
[This message was edited by AAJumper on Mar. 24, 2001 at 11:29 PM.]
1 Like
DMK… I’m speechless! What talent, you need to get this on a CD!
“People… they’re so
complicated. I suppose
that’s why I prefer
horses.”
lol, i am really board right now, that is such a cool song…I think that kelsey and Julia should sing it.
Steve
Here’s my shot at it…for the younger alternative crowd… Cake’s “Never There”…on a greenie theme!
I need your girth around me
I need to feel your leg
You tell me that you longe me so
My trainer says you’re fair
But when I ride you baby,
Baby, your brain’s not there.
Never there
It’s never there
It’s never ever ever ever there!
A golden coop that chips away
A gelding’s fickle frame
To think I rode you yesterday
Your spots were just a game.
You tell me that you longe me so
My trainer says you’re fair
But when I ride you, baby
Baby, your brain’s not there!
Never there
It’s never there
It’s never ever ever ever there!
DMK, thanks, that was amazing!!
I am amazed…amazed I tell ya’… at the talent on this BB.
Okay, after one too many margaritas, here’s my take on Simon & Garfunkle’s “The Boxer”
(Note to self: after reading this pathetic attempt, please realize there’s a reason you’re in a job that requires MATH skills)
I am just an ammie,
Though my story’s seldom told.
I have squandered my life’s savings
On a basement full of ribbons
Such are horse shows.
My skill?s a jest,
Still my Patey’s fully faded
and my TS nicely pressed,
When I left my home and my family
It was 5:00 a.m and dark
In the company of juniors
In the quiet of the trailer after
Loading slow
Leaving late, searching for my missing matingale
And lost map to the show.
Hoping this new bit will make my fresh horse slow.
Lie la lie…
Asking only for a ribbon
I go canter through my course
Getting seven good jumps
Then a long spot to the oxer in the judge?s line.
I do declare, there were times I leaned so far ahead
I’d make my trainer cry
Lie la lie…
Then I’m cooling out my sweaty horse
And thinking I could go
Learn a sport
Where the entry fees and stall bills aren’t bleeding me.
Though I still love it so.
In the clearing stands a hunter,
A pre-greenie newly trained.
Still she carries her fool ammie
Over every jump that comes up till
She acts out in a true pre-greenie way:
“I am farting, I am bucking,
and I will not get the change.”
Lie-la-lie
DMK, you taking requests?
Can you re-write “Anticipation”?
We totally need a BB hoedown!!!
There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.
My friends all ride warmbloods, I must make amends…
AAJumper and DMK, it’s all your fault. Today every time I was in the car with the radio on, I’d start thinking about whether or not the song would be a good one to write a parody of. IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY, AND YOU’RE BOTH TO BLAME!!!
Sung to the tune of the Beach Boys’ I Get Around
I Jump Around
Round round jump around
I jump around
Yeah
Jump around round round I jump around
I jump around
Jump around round round I jump around
From town to town
Jump around round round I jump around
I’m a real hot head
Jump around round round I jump around
'Cause I’m a Thoroughbred
I’m gettin’ bugged trotting up and down the same old ring
I gotta finda new show where I can do my thing
My rider and me are getting real well known
Yeah, the warmbloods know us and they leave us alone
I jump around
Jump around round round I jump around
From town to town
Jump around round round I jump around
I always get my spot
Jump around round round I jump around
I do what I been taught
Jump around round round I jump around
I jump around
Round
Jump around round round oooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
Wah wa ooo
We always take the blue cause I’ve never been beat
And I’ve never missed yet when I get my treats
All of the rounds are steady cause it wouldn’t be right
To leave a stride out when in the judge’s sight
I jump around
Jump around round round I jump around
From town to town
Jump around round round I jump around
I do a perfect eight
Jump around round round I jump around
'Cause I have learned to wait
Jump around round round I jump around
I jump around
Round
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
Round round jump around
I jump around
Yeah
Jump around round round I jump around
Jump around round round I jump around
Wah wa ooo…
Definitely a clique - no doubt one that no one else wants to belong to, lol! The funny thing is, all these young kids of the BB, someday they’ll be horse show moms too…!
I’ve come to enjoy horse shows a lot more once i got to know a few of the moms from the “other” barns…otherwise, there can be this competitive curtain of silence…! At one show a few years ago, I was watching one of my daughter’s “rivals” - at the time, they tended to finish 1,2 in their equi classes. Anyway, the other girl had a really nice round in a jr hunter class, definitely was the winning round and no question better than my daughter’s on that particular day…I had been second guessing the scores and sent up a cheer when her daughter won…the mom (who had never spoken to me before) looked at me and came over to ask why i had cheered - i explained and from then on she was friendly…so the more moms get together the better, i think!
I too bow before you! Those are great.
LOL - I heard Satisfaction on my way to the barn yesterday and I had to sing my verses instead of Mick’s
I am in absolute awe of the raw talent of my fellow BB’ers! Truly! Please continue!!
Well I don’t proclaim to be in the same league as the previous BB’rs fabulous re-makes. Ms.Anyplace Farm wrote this for me last May. It goes to the tune of My Country Tis of The.
My horse show tis or thee
Grant lots of points to me
"Cause my kids best
Cross off those chips and bolts
Geldings that act like colts
Put a zero in the box for faults
LET THE POINT WH**** WIN!!!
Yes it is a very revealing and true statement about my personality!!!
